This or That and Here or There

You know when you have or need to write or create a story or letter and there are many or multiple similar or same words or phrases that express or represent the same or exact idea or message that you are trying or attempting to portray or present and then the result or outcome is an overworded or busy result or product? ;)

I have noticed that the most common flaw in my writing is my wordiness or loquaciousness. So what do you do when you're in love with your words but just need to get to the point? Of course Roy Peter Clark has the answer for us!

To represent his stance on the matter, Clark quoted William Strunk, author of The Elements of Style:

"A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that he make every word tell."

Clark places importance on making every word count by "cutting the big stuff" as "brevity comes from selection, not compression" (50). He paints a picture of this process by advising to "begin by pruning he big limbs. You can shake out the dead leaves later" (51). Clark then made the word elimination process easier by categorizing "Targets for Cuts":

• "Adverbs that intensify rather than modify: just, certainly, entirely, extremely, completely, exactly.
• Prepositional phrases that repeat the obvious: in the story, in the article, in the movie, in the city.
• Abstract nouns that hide active verbs: consideration becomes considers; judgement becomes judges; observation becomes observes.
• Restatements: a sultry, humid afternoon." (52)

BEFORE:                                                                                     AFTER: